We can’t take a detour around our grief. We can’t get to the other side without going through the door of grief. Feeling our grief — our sadness, our anger, our pain, our broken-heartedness, our loneliness, our fears, and with the support of others who care about us, is a huge way of taking care of ourselves.
The only way through the grief is to grieve.
The energy it takes to grieve will reduce what we’re able to do, so it’s all right to adjust our expectations. Another way of taking care of ourselves is by giving ourselves permission to do less, to let some things go, and to expect less from ourselves.
Like going through an earthquake or a hurricane, the death of your child is big. Just like we don’t expect those who’ve gone through a natural disaster to handle it all alone, you shouldn’t expect yourself to handle your own personal disaster all by yourself. It’s important to reach out for some help.