No matter how much we don’t want to be a grieving parent and how much we want to run from the fact that we are a grieving parent we can never escape it and there is no amount of praying and wishing it away will change the fact that our child died.
The problem comes in for most of us because we can’t accept the fact that this really happened to us because to say the words I accept it means it is true and to say the words I accept means that somehow we have a part in it and we have become a willing participant in the worst nightmare ever and who would want to live in a nightmare that you can never wake up from.
This is why in the beginning of our grief and of this terrible nightmare we are so very angry. We are angry because it is as if we are fighting not to fall asleep where the nightmare begins. But we can only fight sleep for so long before we are overtaken by exhaustion and we are sercombe by the nightmare that has been awaiting us at every opportunity.
Just know this is very normal and a very big part of the grieving process and it will take a lot of time to move from this place. And some may take longer than others. And some may choose to never move from this place and that is their choice too because no one not even another grieving parent can tell another grieving parent when it is time to move. It is their choice and their choice alone. Just know you are not alone and what ever you choose to do we are in this together.