The hurt never goes away. We never forget. We never get over it. We don’t want to. We hurt so much because we loved so much. But the focus on death and the event can lessen and the warmth of good memories replace it. Oh, we can still go back there in an instant. Back to the visit, the call, the good-bye, the tree, the apartment, that moment when we found out our child has died. Time helps a lot.
I have fewer friends. Better friends, mind you, but fewer. I am out of the circle now. But the amazing thing is how much I don’t care. I miss some special people so I go out of my way to stay in touch. And that is enough. I have new and different priorities. I move through life a little slower, a little more tuned to life around me, and to life gone too soon. I brake for sunsets. I hurt for the people who share this walk with me.
Since my yougest son, Greggy died, hundreds and then thousands and then tens of thousands of children have died. I feel for them and for their families in a way I could never have understood before. I value people more than things; moments more than milestones and I no longer equate what I do with who I am.
I think of how much I was blessed to have my son for 18 years, 7 months, & 24 days... It's more than some & less than some, but us grieving parents don't compare the time or even the how, we are just mourning the loss of our child. No matter what happened, no matter who did what to whom, we still relate to the Loss of our Children...