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September 7, 2011

Office Tear Jerks


NY POST STORY - To Read the Original Story I read...
Daily UK Mail - Another version of the story...
After reading the story:
A New Jersey mom still grieving the death of her beloved teenage daughter says she was ordered by callous bosses to quit discussing the child after co-workers complained -- and was even forced to yank the girl's ballet slippers and photos from her cubicle.
Shattered and stunned, Cecelia Ingraham, 60, of Hillsborough sued for emotional distress -- but a state court last month sided with the company.
The case between Ingraham and her former employer, Ortho-McNeil Pharmaceutical in Raritan, where she had worked in the marketing department for 12 years, had been languishing in the courts since 2007.

Two years earlier, Ingraham's daughter, Tatiana, 17, had died of leukemia, and shortly after, the devastated mom began decorating her desk with pictures of the child. She also kept on hand a pair of the girl's ballet slippers as a touching reminder. But Ingraham's co-workers whined that over the next two years, the married, inconsolable mom became an office pest with her tears and depressing attitude and that -- gasp -- it interfered with their work.
Ingraham's boss allegedly told her that he had received complaints about her conduct and her "uncomfortable" interaction with other workers.
One co-worker had even griped: "What else can we say [to her] that we have not said already?"
The boss ordered Ingraham to remove her pictures of Tatiana because they were a "disruption" and to stop talking about the girl "because she was dead," according to court papers.
Ingraham testified that she asked her boss if he was telling her to act "as if she [Tatiana] did not exist."
He allegedly replied, "Yes."
She left work sobbing and never returned. Just days later, she said, she was diagnosed heart palpitations and had to have angioplasty.
She took her case to court but lost at trial.
She then appealed, and in a ruling issued Aug. 25, state appellate Judge Victor Ashrafi, wrote, "There is no question that any reasonable employer should know telling a grieving mother not to talk about her deceased daughter might cause emotional distress. But a severe reaction was not a risk that one should expect.
"The workplace has too many personal conflicts and too much behavior that might be perceived as uncivil for the courts to be used as the umpire for all but the most extreme workplace disputes," he said.
While a jury might consider that Ingraham's boss was "insensitive" and "negligent of plaintiff's vulnerability in her continuing bereavement," his behavior did not sink to the legal standard, the judge added.
After commenting on the story:
There comes a time when talking about your dead child does stop just like it does when you stop talking about your living children as well... It's when we're DEAD too! ---- Whoever complained about Cecelia Ingraham, must NOT be a parent, must NOT be a Loving person, & must NOT be a decent human being either! People who have not lost a child, do not understand... The only thing they have to compare to is the death of a PET, a Parent, a Grandparent, a Classmate, or some distant relative... I don't wish the death of a child on anyone... Not only do you miss your child, but you can never call them, text them, email them, hug them, high five them, buy things for them, etc... It is Finished... - Forgive them Father, for they know NOT what they have said & done...
Christina Whale-ocds

AND Posting the story on FaceBook:
I got the following comment...
It was said so well, I have to post it here as well...
I grieved so very deeply for my son, to the extent I wore black for entire year. And to be quite honest 6 years later I still cry and talk about him, I mention him every time a memory passes through my head which is continuously. I would ...cry at a moments notice. If your not allowed to talk about your child then where is your freedom of speech. The loss of a child is a long difficult road to travel. Grief is a long lonely path of ups and downs. You question your actions is it okay to smile, laugh and find life without your child? Guilt is difficult. Your child was part of you. How could you ever forgrt them. You see someone who resembles them. Your heart stops and not to be rude you star to catch a glimpse. Their life was not complete, they had lots of living to do, school, marriage, their own child. A parent should never have to bury their child. I send prayers for those who do not understand......and mostly peace.
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